OK, so I'll come right out with it: I thought the tea parties on Wednesday were hilarious. I laughed, even as they added time to my commute, snarled traffic, and oh yeah, even though the majority of the protesters were targeting a president that I did everything short of offering up a blood sacrifice to get elected. Why? Oh, so many reasons.
Here's the thing. I like I good protest, no matter what side it's on. I love that we listen, that the protests make the news and that for a bit, at least, we talk about the issue. But that was the thing about the tea parties on April 15. Everybody seemed to be protesting something
different, and some seemed to be protesting for the sake of protesting. Newt Gingrich, I'm looking at you. No, Wednesday was about...uhh...taxes. And...uh...government spending, too. And...uh...government in general. And stimulus. And bailouts. And...and...socialism. And there were all sorts of signs about mortgaging our children and Chairman Obama, and they were clever. But it didn't make any sense.
This April 15 tax bonanza was born of an unholy alliance between two parties that could not be stranger bedfellows if they tried. The idea of having a tea party was Libertarian in origin, one of Ron Paul's campaign stunts that caught fire with his followers. They are protesting taxation, as enumerated in Mr. Paul's campaign promise which is, best as I can tell, to do away with the IRS in favor of a tariff system. Then the Republicans jumped on the boat, which brought in the media attention. FOX News fanned the flames, and the talking heads on CNN and
MSNBC, simply by virtue of their befuddled amusement - Rachel
Maddow literally giggled through a segment on it - brought it to the attention of a wider audience. But the Republicans weren't protesting taxes, they were banging the fiscal responsibility drum, complaining about deficit spending and stimulus money, and conveniently ignoring, as usual, that their president ran up the deficit in the first place, and that the original bailout package, the mismanaged one that allowed
AIG employees to make out like bandits, came in the waning days of his presidency.
Doing away with the tax code and reigning in government spending are not the same issue, and are barely even congruent. And then toss in turf wars among protesters, political and television personalities soapboxing about all manner of things, and Rick Perry threatening the succession of Texas, and the result was a muddled mess of soggy tea bags, security scares, and accusations that the liberal media elite was, yet again, chuckling at the expense of the working man. Oh, and at convention today, I listened as
Naz attempted to delicately explain the meaning of the phrase "tea-bagging" to an elderly woman entering our prize drawing. You know. The
original meaning. Awkward. But hilarious.
Adding another layer of sublime amusement is the history factor. You see, as any fifth grader can tell you, the Boston Tea Party wasn't about reforming a tax code or deficit spending, or even the size of government, really. It was about being
egregiously taxed by a government in which we had no say. It was about asking why, exactly, England felt it could continuously screw the colonies by levying ridiculously high taxes and using the revenue to make sure colonial leaders were kept away from the influence of their constituents, and it was a fundamental question of liberty. Were the colonies "grown up" enough to govern themselves, or did they still require the stifling support of Mother England? Oh yeah, and it was in response to a tariff. That's some irony for you right there, Mr. Paul.
And yes, I'm certain that the Libertarian elements of the protest would say that the situation has not changed, and we've only
ex hanged one system of repression for another. But come on. Every state has two senators, and a handful of representatives. We have popular elections for two of the three branches of
government. The only citizens who have a right to complain about taxation without full representation are the residents of D.C., and the state of Minnesota.
England's response to the Boston Tea Party - the legit one - was, by the way, was to blockade Boston's port until the East India Company was paid for all the tea that was destroyed. The other colonies had to send emergency relief because the port was the only shipping artery for supplies into the
Massachusetts colony. President
Obama's reaction to this year's Tea Party? He acknowledged the tax code was outdated, and pledged to work on it. So, you know, that's the same.
As for everyone carrying a sign or wearing a t-shirt accusing Obama of promoting socialism or communism? China routinely jails
activists and
protesters without a trial or a term limit. People are taken, and never heard from again. Cuba tortures dissidents, and bans individual ownership of computers. In Russia, a democracy teetering, prominent oppositional voices are
assassinated, and resulting trials are a joke. Some of the countries that include references to socialism in their constitutions include Syria,
Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, and Libya. So,
protester friends, be very, very careful which terms you throw around, because you are allowed to gather freely, state your oppositional views, and nobody kills your family. The fact that you wore that shirt, marched with that sign, or marched at all without ending up in a detention cell for an indefinite term is a pretty surefire indication you live in a democracy.
Now, to those Republicans concerned about deficit spending. Well, you should be. It's bad. But what's worse is a prolonged depression that keeps people out of work and stashing money under mattresses. Two words, friends: Herbert Hoover. His administration tried several tactics to pull the country out of the depression, including protectionist measures (Buy American, anyone?) that backfired as foreign countries taxed American products to offset the resulting costs, favored "volunteer" based solutions that pieced together agreements by willing business and state interests over legislative action, and
pre-Depression tax cuts that caused
deficits and resulted in an actual tax increase in 1932. In the waning days of his presidency, in desperation, he put forth infrastructure investment packages and public works programs. These were adopted and expanded upon by FDR as part of his New Deal, which is widely credited for finally pulling the US out of the Great Depression. There are some parallels to be had here, and pay no mind to the glaring obviousness of it all. Hoover's action items are largely the same as those
proposed or amended to bills by the GOP now. Protectionist measures, tax cuts, and an unwillingness to spend. And there's a reason
Obama's stimulus package was called the New New Deal. It has been proven successful in the only testing
ground that even remotely approaches what we're facing now.
We should all learn from our mistakes and our history.
Also? Probably a good idea to run key phrases through the Urban Dictionary. Just in case their vernacular meaning is to suck on
someone's testicles.